


The Great Pixie Heist

by LittleMissGG



Series: The Prankster Chronicles [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders, Mild S&M, Rimming, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 18:16:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20313889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissGG/pseuds/LittleMissGG
Summary: It's the principle of the thing.(Originally posted May 2005)





	1. Chapter 1

“It won't work.”

“Will too.”

“It won't!”

“Oh you're such a kill joy.”

“And you're a complete moron if you think we'll get down there without being seen.”

“Who you calling a moron?”

“Children, please.”

“He started it.”

“Did not!”

“Both of you can go sit in the corner if you carry on, now shut up and let me concentrate.”

“Is there a way Moony?”

“I think so. But you might just be the key to this plan Pete.”

“Really?!”

“Really?”

“Oh we're all doomed.”

*****

The mission? To retrieve the stolen bust of the Queen of the Pixies that was currently thought to be hidden in the Hufflepuff common room. Why? Because. It was the principle of the thing. 

The bust had been considered the unofficial mascot of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team for decades and two years ago as part of the first great Marauder adventure Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs stole it. Nicked it. Pilfered the thing from right under the noses of the smart arses in what was a particularly genius heist. Why did they steal said bust? Because. They were the Marauders and they were unstoppable. Because it cemented their name in the history of the greatest Hogwarts pranksters. Because it had never been done before. Because a seventh year Ravenclaw tripped Peter up in the corridor and stole his chocolate frog cards.

Ever since the 'Great Pixie Heist' there had been a subtly escalating war between the houses; trophies, pictures, statues and mascots of all shapes and sizes were stolen and at first it was a mystery as to who had taken what. The war evolved. Soon photos of stolen items were left in their places, ransom notes, jokes, riddles. Pretty soon things got out of hand - pictures of young handsome Ravenclaws atop stolen statues appeared. Young, handsome and naked Hufflepuffs. Young, handsome and naked Gryffindors in compromising positions with stolen items until every house was fuming, unsure exactly why but determined nonetheless, to own 'the' trophy, the crowning glory, the thing that started the war, the jewel in the crown. The Queen of the Pixies. And so three weeks ago it went missing from its proud home in the Marauders' dorm room.

First came reconnaissance; Peter transforming and scuttling around the Ravenclaw tower trying to over hear passwords (and subsequently learning there was no password - sadly not hanging around long enough to find out what was involved in gaining entrance). Remus nonchalantly wandering past just as bleary eyed first years were entering their common room after hours in the library. James and Sirius running and screaming at students as they entered trying to scare the secret of entry out of them (that didn't work as well as they'd hoped). Finally it was Remus who worked it out.

“How'd you figure that out?”

“I read it.”

“What? You just happened to find out the secret to entering another houses common room in a book?”

“No James I didn't just happen to find out, I searched, I scoured, I sifted... I slipped into the restricted section after curfew Tuesday night.”

“Moony!”

“You rebel.”

“Oh, I'm so proud!”

“So how do we get in then?”

“Well... that's the tricky part...”

******

The tricky part was that to gain entrance to the Hufflepuff common room one had to have a talisman. A tiny talisman that proved you belonged to the house... and Hufflepuffs being the most loyal were trusted not to betray their house, their friends, their brothers-in-arms, their morals, their...

“How'd you get that?”

“I, am a fucking mastermind!”

“No, really, how?”

“Three weeks potions homework, twenty galleons, three knuts and half a sickle - oh and half of Pete's chocolate frog stash.”

“Hey!”

“Oh come on Pete you gotta make sacrifices for the cause here mate.”

“You bribed someone?!”

“Yup.”

“But that's... that's... really simple.”

“Why twenty galleons, three knuts and half a sickle exactly?”

“Oh well, y'see it's actually quite clever...”

“All you had in your pocket at the time?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Of course just because they could now get through the door there was the question as to how exactly they could do it. There was the idea of polyjuice potion but since James and Sirius had the combined patience of a particularly temperamental two year old the idea of a potion that took over two months to brew was immediately rejected. James presented the 'run and scream' option for consideration but was greeted by Remus's patented icy stare and shut up for the rest of the discussion. Sirius suggested seducing some gullible kid and just nicking the damn talisman but Peter helpfully pointed everybody knew Sirius would be after the statue and no one would fall for his charms.

“Oh oh oh! There's an air vent! An air vent from the kitchen right into the common room - I used it when I was transformed.”

“Gods Pete you're a genius.”

“I could kiss you!”

“I'd rather you didn't.”

“When you transformed?”

“Yeah.”

“So you went through this air vent when you were a rat?”

“Yeah.”

“When you were seven inches long and two inches tall?”

“Yeah... oh.”

“Although... it's a start.”

A brilliant and cunning plan was hatched and jobs were assigned. Peter spent the week scouring the Hufflepuff common room in the evenings, scuttling around as a rat and searching for the statue. When his searches proved fruitless Sirius stepped up; transforming into Padfoot in the dead of the night and creeping through the air vent from the kitchen. It was on the second night that Sirius found the statue, placed in the centre of the mantelpiece above the fire and draped with a Hufflepuff scarf. Exercising some of his famed patience Sirius transformed into human form grabbed the statue and tried to bolt out of the door. As soon as he lifted the bust from the mantel the lights flickered on and alarm bells started ringing. He dropped the bust onto a nearby armchair, turned into Padfoot and bombed through the air vent, emerging so fast from the opposite end that he ran straight into a kitchen table leg and knocked himself out.

Three hours later he staggered into the dorm room just as James and Remus were mounting a rescue mission. After explaining his slight faux pa and suffering a few more head wounds from Remus, all four Marauders wandered down to breakfast in the early hours discussing their next move.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus sat cross-legged in the centre of Sirius's bed watching the black dot labelled 'James' darting across the parchment. The map was almost finished and was proving to be exceptionally helpful. Only last week James had been able to 'accidentally' bump into Lily three times, Peter had avoided a months detentions by watching Mrs Norris's movements and Remus and Sirius had managed...

“....Are you sure no one’s coming?”

“Yes.”

“Certain?”

“Listen Mr Prefect, I’ll have you know I can multitask, there is no one coming here but you.”

Sirius shot Remus a completely wicked wink and tightened his grip on Remus’s hips, pushing him further into the arched doorway. He resumed his teasing licks up and down Remus’s inner thighs, his eyes occasionally flickering to the side where he had tacked the map against the wall. Remus groaned and wrapped one hand through Sirius’s hair while the other scrabbled desperately for a purchase on the stonewall behind him.

Finally Sirius gave in and reached forward, he sucked Remus’s balls into his mouth quickly and fought back a chuckle at the completely scandalised noise Remus made. He eased one hand away from Remus’s hip and wrapped it round his cock, gliding his fingers up and down with playfully quick touches until Remus’s hips were bucking and he was making that distinctly canine whine in the back of his throat.

Sirius released Remus’s balls with a wet pop and smiled up, his eyes gleaming in the murky candlelight of the hallway. He slipped his hand down and wrapped his thumb and index finger round Remus’s balls before licking at the head of Remus’s cock like it was a particularly tempting coconut ice. When Remus very nearly doubled over Sirius wrapped his lips round the length and took as much into his mouth as he could manage without gagging. Remus strangled a scream and grabbed Sirius’s hair with both hands so hard there was a real fear of Sirius being bald by the end of this blowjob. Sirius growled and Remus took the hint, he eased his fingers (and finger nails) from Sirius’s scalp and resumed chewing on his bottom lip.

He pushed his head back against the cool stone wall and tried to concentrate on the not screaming - it was difficult. Sirius was using every trick in the book, swirling the flat of his tongue over the heated flesh in his mouth before pulling back and attacking with the pointed tip of his tongue. He tightened his fingers round Remus’s balls as he sucked agonisingly hard on just the head before slipping his lips down again.

All Remus could think (when his brain actually managed to fire off some synapses) was that someone was going to see them. Someone was going to round the end of the hall and see Sirius on his knees, his beautiful cherry-red lips wrapped round Remus’s cock. They would see Remus, _prefect_ Remus, _good boy_ Remus, coming completely undone at the seams.

It made his stomach clench and he groaned at the thought, gripping Sirius’s hair a little tighter and holding him in place as he bucked his hips forcefully. Sirius growled again, cruelly tightening his fingers and forcing Remus’s hips against the wall. Sensing Remus’s sudden flare in arousal Sirius forgot about skill and tricks and decided to stick with good old fashioned enthusiasm, bobbing his head up and down, twisting his lips round the length as he went. Remus cried out and slammed his palm flat against the wall. The smack echoed down the corridor and was joined by the distant rumble of voices.

Remus squeaked in terror - the fantasy of getting caught was all very erotic but only when it stayed firmly in the realms of _not actually happening_ \- and Sirius urgently scanned the map just behind Remus’s thigh. Woops. Lunch was evidently just finishing and hundreds of students were pouring out of the great hall.

“Qu-quickly!” Remus pleaded, going slightly weak at the knees when Sirius finally released his fingers from around Remus’s balls and instead rubbed them gently, his tongue twisting furiously over and over the tip of Remus’s cock.

Remus very nearly doubled over again, he tried to focus on the feel of Sirius’s mouth, his tongue, the little grunts of effort he was making, the feel of his fingers sliding over his balls and then tripping down between his legs, down the inside of his thighs. The voices were getting louder, they were getting nearer. Bit his lip harder, trying to fight back a moan, they were going to get caught. Maybe it would be a professor, maybe they would approach slowly, maybe they would want to watch Sirius, beautiful wet-lipped Sirius on his knees sucking cock like a proper little...

“Oh oh!” Remus’s knees buckled with the force of his orgasm and it was only Sirius’s firm hands, one on his hip and the other pressing his thigh into the rough stone, that stopped him falling down. By the time Sirius finally moved his mouth away Remus was trembling all over, his teeth chattering. Sirius grinned and pulled Remus’s trousers up for him, tucking his spit wet cock back inside his underwear before zipping up his fly and straightening out his robes. Sirius clambered to his feet just as a group of chatting third years appeared at the top of the stairs.

“You, Mr Prefect, are a little exhibitionist!” Sirius whispered, licking an obscenely wet line up the side of Remus’s neck as he pulled the map off the wall.

“Me?”

“Yes you. Got you all hot and bothered didn’t it? The idea that someone was going to see me with your...”

“Sirius!” Remus blushed. “So we missed lunch? Damn, I’m hungry now.”

“Don’t worry Moony, I've got something you can suck on...”

“Pads!....”

Back in the dorm room Remus grinned at the memory, adjusted his underwear and returned is full attention to the map. Now the James dot had slipped into a secret passageway behind a portrait and appeared three corridors over in the west wing of the castle. The Sirius dot was being chased by several other dots, a crowd that was slowly expanding as he wove his way through the castle, missing all of the most obvious escape routes available to him and sticking to wide corridors that would accommodate lots of angry students.

Just as the James dot began descending a flight of stairs toward the kitchens the Peter dot arrived in the corridor outside Gryffindor tower. Remus quickly rolled up the parchment, grabbed his wand and ran from the room, out of the common room and through the portrait hole.

“Ready?”

“Where's Sirius?”

“On his way, we better get going.”

The two boys set off at a fierce pace, winding through every secret corridor they knew of, every shortcut, every which way they could and all the time making sure they were seen by no one. They arrived outside the Hufflepuff common room panting, Peter clutching at his side.

“Do y'think... we're ok... to go?”

Remus once against unfurled the map and peered at the labelled black dots. James was in position outside the kitchens, Sirius was currently careering along the fourth floor followed by hundreds of unnamed dots and the Hufflepuff common room was empty. Remus looked up and smiled.

“Ready.”

Peter pulled a tiny gold marble from his pocket and held it up to the light. It didn't glint or shine in anyway, it was as if it was absorbing light. He held the marble tightly in his left hand and pushed against the huge oak door before him and... It swung open effortlessly.

********

Remus and Peter stepped through the doorway cautiously. The common room was a large, warm room, almost square but full of odd nooks and crannies which were filled with armchairs and cushions. There were several large tables all lined up against one wall, a huge fire with a simple wooden mantle, two sets of stairs on either side of the room which lead down to the dormitories.

Just as Sirius had described it, the bust sat in the centre of the mantelpiece. It was once again draped in a Hufflepuff scarf and now had a chalkboard resting against the wall next to it. At the top of the board someone had scribbled 'Us | Them', and below the 'Us' column someone had drawn two points, below the 'Them' column was a fat zero. Remus growled in frustration and handed Peter the map. He took the talisman out of Peter's hand and weighed it in his palm.

“Keep your eyes on that map. Or else.”

Peter nodded solemnly and unrolled the parchment right out. Remus stepped up to the mantel and turned his head one way then the other as though trying to read something. Suddenly he pulled out his wand and murmured a few incantations. There was a faint shimmer in the air and then Remus chuckled.

“They couldn't have been that stupid...” He reached out and touched the statue. Nothing happened. He shook his head, shoved the talisman into his pocket and grabbed the bust with both hands, lifting it off the fireplace slowly. Still, nothing happened.

“Quick, Pete, now.”

Peter scrambled across the room, shoved an armchair out of the way and pulled away the covering of the air vent. Remus staggered under the weight of the bust and crossed the room and together he and Peter lowered the statue into the hole. It was a tight fit, they had to lay the thing down so that the Queen of the Pixies was staring at the rough stone roof of the air vent. They pushed her right in and then Remus pulled a length of thick rope from under his robes. He quickly tied one end round the base of the statue. Looking up with a glint of mischief in his eyes that Sirius would of been proud of, Remus ran back to the fireplace.

“C'mon Remus, what you waiting for?!”

“One sec.”

“Oh c'mon Moony, we haven't got time...”

Remus reached up to the chalk board above the fireplace and drew a huge zero under the 'Us' column and a thick 1 under the 'Them' column. He turned to leave and then turned back. He quickly scrawled across the bottom of the board; 'M,W,P&P'.

“Remus, NOW!”

Remus turned and ran across the room, jumped over a chair and landed next to Peter. Peter unloaded his pockets, handing over the map, the talisman and his wand.

“Make sure you tell him to be careful. It's a tight fit.”

“Yup. You sure you won't need help?”

“We'll be fine.”

Peter nodded and disappeared. The rat at Remus's feet squeaked and clambered into the air vent. Remus bent down and picked up the end of the rope and offered the end to Wormtail who grabbed it between his teeth and set off down the vent. Remus glanced at the map. The coast was still clear. He replaced and repaired the covering of the vent and dashed out of the common room. He made it to the top of the stairs and panted heavily, yanking the map open and glancing at the labelled dots once more.

Peter was just emerging from the end of the tunnel into the kitchen where James was sitting and Sirius was taking the long route up to sixth floor followed by hundreds of black dots. 

If he ran and took every short cut in the book Remus would just make it in time. He rolled the map up tight, shoved it into the back pocket of his jeans and gripped his wand tightly before starting up the stairs, taking them three at a time.


	3. Chapter 3

A hex hit a suit of armour and showered sparks down over Sirius. He turned, still running and screamed at the crowd behind him.

“OI! No magic! Someone could get hurt!”

A second hex whizzed passed his ear and exploded a few feet behind his head. Sirius shrugged and took an unexpected right turn, quickly but not so quick that they would miss it. He belted down the corridor, round the portrait of Ivan the Indifferent and up the stairs. He couldn't hide his relief when he spotted Remus coming down the corridor from the opposite end.

“You took your time!” He bellowed.

“Look whose talking!”

“It work?”

“Like a charm.”

Sirius grinned and nodded before coming to an ungraceful stop next to Remus. He grabbed the dirty-blonde boy and kissed him, all panting breath and clumsy teeth before pulling away and ducking another hex.

“Oi, what did I tell you about -”

He was cut off when Remus grabbed him by the untucked shirt and dragged him against the wall.

“Why Remus, I love it when you're in charge too but now's not really -”

“Sirius? Witty retorts after we escape the angry mob.”

“Right.”

The two boys grabbed their wands and stepped out into the corridor. The oncoming crowd was looking angry, screaming and shouting, waving wands and two-fingered salutes in their general directions. Sirius turned round and stood back to back with Remus.

“This gonna work?”

“No idea.”

“Lie to me then Rem.” Sirius said a little desperate and certainly breathless after his marathon through the castle.

“Definitely.”

Simultaneously Remus and Sirius lifted their wands into the air and pointed towards the crowd. Together they screamed the spell. Salvio Hexia. The crowd came to a crunching halt, crashing into an invisible wall, the front students ended up looking like flies on a window screen as everyone behind them had carried on running.

“Sirius?”

“Yeah?”

“You were supposed to get the Hufflepuffs to chase you.”

“Yeah.”

“There's gotta be at least... a hundred students there?”

“Yeah.”

“And they're not all Hufflepuffs. I can see at least twelve Ravenclaws in the front. And that's your cousin and her mate from Slytherin.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you just run through the castle insulting everyone you could find?”

“Umm... yeah.”

“Why?”

“Less conspicuous if I piss everyone off and not just Hufflepuffs, right?”

Remus turned to face his grinning, panting, flushed boyfriend. The crowd gave a violent shove and managed to take a few steps forward.

“That spell was meant to hold fifty.”

“And there's definitely more than fifty.”

Both boys stared for a moment longer, there was a loud crack and the invisible wall was hit by a charm from the other side. Sirius grabbed Remus's hand, squeezed it tight and grinned.

“Run!”

******

“Well that was unexpected.”

Sirius stood with his back pressed firmly to the door. His eyes scanning around the room he had just stumbled into. Remus had tripped and fallen through the open doorway and so now sat at Sirius's feet staring, open-mouthed, at the room before them. Not a very special room, admittedly, but a room that'd never been there before. A room that was supposed to be a bathroom... or was it a cleaning cupboard... didn't James say it was just an old classroom? 

It was fairly small and right in the middle was a bed. A modestly dressed double bed, clean crisp sheets, two soft looking pillows. The walls were painted a generic creamy colour, on the floor was thick soft carpet and there was complete silence inside. Remus spread the map out on the floor before him and scanned the parchment for his dot. No where. He whispered a spell he had been using in the construction of the map but still he and Sirius were no where to be found. In the corridor outside there were still hundreds of people but instead of running they were milling around, wandering up and down, some leaving altogether, others running down stairs and along hallways and all of them moving away. Remus laughed out loud and ran his hand through his hair.

“I can't believe we just did that!”

“Oh please, there was never any doubt.” Sirius smirked and helped Remus to his feet.

“Oh yeah? You're awfully smug for a bloke who just escaped death thanks to a magic cupboard.” Remus stepped forward and pinned Sirius back against the door with his hips.

“Awfully smug for a bloke who escaped death thanks to a magic bedroom and is now alone with his boyfriend in said magic bedroom.” Sirius corrected, grinning as he put up an obligatory struggle as Remus grabbed both his wrists and held him tight against the thick oak door.

“And what do you think we'll find in a magic bedroom?” Remus growled, wriggling his hips and delighting in the gentle friction it caused.

“Oh lots and lots of condoms? Never ending supply of hand lotion...?” Sirius was desperately trying to capture Remus's lips, arching his back off the door and whining when Remus kept his mouth out of reach. “What would you like to find Moony?” Sirius asked breathlessly giving up with his attempts to kiss Remus and letting his head fall back against the door with a thunk.

“Oh, I dunno...” Remus finally obliged Sirius and kissed his neck, sliding his lips down Sirius's jaw that was slick with sweat from their death-defying escape. “I was thinking...” Another row of kisses on the opposite side of Sirius neck. “Maybe... handcuffs.” Remus smiled at Sirius's gasp and trailed his lips up his neck and latched onto his earlobe. “Yeah, have you completely at my mercy... Mmm I like the idea of a cane.” Sirius groaned and bucked his hips forward. “Oh you like that do you? Bend you over the end of the bed and give you a good canning, eh? Punish you for being a very...” Remus squeezed Sirius's wrists tighter. “Naughty...” He licked a quick line over Sirius's lips but pulled away before Sirius could get a proper kiss. “Boy?”

“Oh god Moony...” Finally Remus kissed Sirius, hard and demanding, forcing his tongue passed the taller boy's lips and hitching his hips forward, forcing Sirius back into the door. “What's got into you?” Sirius asked, smiling as he pulled his lips away from Remus's hungry mouth.

“I was just remembering last week...” Another kiss. “In the hallway downstairs...” Another kiss and lazy thrust of his hips. “I never did get to thank you.”

“Oh well... in that case...” Sirius pushed his hips forward and cast an appraising glance downwards, noticing the rather obvious tenting of Moony's robes. “_Thank_ me all you want.”

******

James and Peter staggered up to the portrait hole, whipped off the invisibility cloak and muttered the password. The portrait swung forward and they manoeuvred through the hole, passing the bust between the two of them and finally emerging on the other side to a common room full of students. A few people turned to see who had arrived and turned away disinterested. James grinned and pulled out his wand, pointing it at his throat he murmured an amplification spell and stepped forward.

“Ladies and Gentlemen of the Gryffindor house, myself and my esteemed colleague Mr Pettigrew have something to present!”

Most of the students quietened down and turned to watch James waving his arms around dramatically. Peter, red faced and out of breath was grinning like an idiot and standing in front of the bust so that it was hidden from view.

“After much planning, scheming and plotting, after a dangerous, perilous, treacherous mission (someone shouted that they all meant the same thing but James ignored them) down into the bowels of the castle, myself and Peter, and Remus and Sirius if they ever show up, would like to present...”

James yanked Peter out of the way and pointed his wand at the bust.

“The Queen of the Pixies! Back in her rightful home.”

The common room erupted with shrieks of laughter and rounds of applause. Several seventh years jumped up and helped James and Peter to lift the statue up high enough for everyone to see and then carry it to the fireplace where they sat it in pride of place in the centre of the mantelpiece. James and Peter were guided to the biggest sofa in the centre of the room and everyone crowded round to hear the story. Someone thrust a bottle of butterbeer into James's hand and the Flor twins settle themselves either side of Peter.

“Anyone seen Remus? Or Sirius?” James called over general chattering of the amasses students.

“Should we go look for them?” Peter asked with the expression of a man who would rather eat his own leg than leave the comfort of two beautiful twins to go look for his friends.

“Last time I saw Black he was careering down the fourth floor. Told me my mum looked like a Hippogriff.” One student piped up still looking a little annoyed.

“Yeah, said he thought he'd seen me making out with that creepy cousin of his. We chased him for a while but it got boring.”

“Where'd he go?” James asked, trying to push an overeager third year off his lap.

“Dunno. He just sort of... disappeared on the seventh floor.”

James looked over to see if Peter looked worried. He didn't. He looked terribly pleased with himself. One twin was draped round his neck and whispering in his ear while the other started unwrapping a chocolate frog. James shrugged and scanned the room for one Miss Evans. He spotted her, sitting away from the crowd and rolling her eyes, but with an unmistakable grin on her face. He smiled and knocked back the butterbeer.

******

Sirius knew, better than the others, just how strong Remus really was. Under the shy smile and skinny limbs, hidden beneath geekyness and badly knitted cardigans Remus Lupin still had the wolf inside him and it made those skinny arms and pointy shoulder blades as strong as steel.

Remus dragged Sirius away from the door and pushed him towards the bed, his wrists still caught in the vice of Remus's hands. Remus backed him up against the wooden end of the bed with a thud that pushed all the air out of Sirius's lungs.

“Fuck.” He breathed, trying futilely to free his wrists and touch Remus.

“That was the idea.” Remus grinned. He rarely made such crude comments and when he did it sent a shiver down Sirius's spine and made his chest feel tight and heavy.

Sirius ground his hips against Remus's and trailed his tongue down over Remus's jaw and sucked on his pulse point. He felt rather than heard Remus's moan, vibrating against his tongue and tried to tug his wrists free once more.

Remus pulled away and looked at Sirius with a distinctly predatory stare. He tightened his grip on Sirius's wrists to the point of pain.

“I'm in charge today Sirius.” And with that he pulled Sirius away from the footboard and manoeuvred them both round the side of the bed. Remus finally released Sirius's arms and pushed him backwards onto the bed where he bounced slightly on the plush mattress. Remus impatiently wrenched his robes off and then pulled open the first draw of the little bedside cabinet and grinned eagerly. With a metallic clink he pulled a shiny pair of handcuffs from the draw. Sirius's eyes grew huge as he watched Remus climb up onto the bed and straddle his chest.

“Moony...?” Sirius's voice was full of longing and the barest trace of apprehension. Remus smiled and lent forward, pressing the cold metal of the cuffs against Sirius's shirt clad chest.

“Do you trust me?” Sirius nodded, swallowing heavily. “You want to stop at any point, just say...” Remus's eyes flickered as he thought of a suitably off-putting word. “Snape.”

Sirius arched his eyebrow and smirked. Remus grabbed one hand and pulled Sirius's arm above his head before clamping the cool metal round Sirius's wrist. He was impressed when he pulled Sirius's left hand up that there was a little hook screwed into the wall just above the headboard. Remus attached the chain of the cuffs to the hook and secured Sirius's left wrist. He sat back, hands pressed against Sirius's chest and admired his work, his tongue caught between his teeth. Slowly he slipped his hands up the length of Sirius's body and then began unbuttoning Sirius's shirt. 

Remus made quick work of the pearlescent buttons and pulled open the shirt, enjoying the way the thin white cotton framed Sirius's slightly hairy, tanned chest. Remus couldn't keep his hands off Sirius, he splayed his fingers out and ran them down Sirius's sides, rubbed slow circles across his stomach, then up flicking his nails against Sirius's already hard nipples. By the time Remus managed to drag his eyes away from the broad expanse of chest before him Sirius's head was thrown back, his lip bitten, his eyes scrunched shut. Remus had another wicked idea. He leant over the edge of the bed, yanked open the second draw and found just what he wanted.

He wrapped the soft, black velvet round Sirius's eyes, dipping his lips to Sirius's when the boy beneath him gasped. Once Remus had secured the blindfold he slid his tongue along Sirius's jaw and nipped his earlobe. 

“Ok?”

“Very.”

“Good. Now the fun can begin.”

Remus kissed Sirius hard, teeth catching his lips as he forced his tongue into Sirius's pliant mouth. Remus groaned and wriggled back along Sirius's body before sitting up and yanking his own shirt up and over his head without bothering with buttons. 

Finally topless Remus leant down close to Sirius and rubbed their bare chests together. Sirius moaned and bucked his hips up off the bed, turning his head from side to side trying to sense where Remus was. Remus smiled and teased Sirius's lips with his own, kissing Sirius briefly before pulling away quickly and licking Sirius's chin, down his jaw line, dipping his tongue into Sirius's ear.

“Rem.” Sirius groaned, the chain of the handcuffs clinking as he fought against the restraints.

Remus made a tutting noise with his tongue and pressed his finger to Sirius's lips. “Hush. Just relax.” Remus moved away quickly and stood beside the edge of the bed. He pulled off his trousers and boxers, toed off his socks and climbed back onto the bed. Now naked, he hovered over Sirius's topless form, placing random kisses all over Sirius's chest before finally tackling Sirius's fly.

When he'd finally eased down the zip of Sirius's jeans he tapped the dark-haired boy's hips. “Up.” Sirius complied quickly, wriggling impatiently, trying to help Remus get the thick material away from his skin. Remus yanked them off Sirius's feet and dropped them off the side of the bed and then laid a playful kiss against the inside of Sirius's ankle. Sirius gasped and tried to wriggle away from the ticklish sensation. Remus laughed and kissed the arch of his foot and then began kissing up his left leg, holding Sirius down firmly, twisting and turning Sirius's legs to expose sensitive spots to his tongue. He bit gently at the back of Sirius's knee, sucked a red mark into the soft flesh of Sirius's inner thigh, just below his boxers. 

Sirius bucked his hips up a few times, trying to increase the friction between his now achingly hard cock and the flimsy cotton of his underwear. Remus growled and slapped his thigh playfully.

“Nu-uh. That's cheating.” Sirius stilled his hips, breath coming in heavy pants, his hands clenched into fists above his head. Remus felt a flare of something predatory in his chest at the way Sirius obeyed him. Remus idly traced the tip of one finger over the top of Sirius's thigh, watching as Sirius's breathing sped up and he bit his lip hard.

Remus grinned and hooked his fingers into the waistband of Sirius boxers and then slid them slowly over Sirius’s cock and off his legs. He glanced up, the sight of Sirius, naked but for the shirt that was pooled around his arms, made Remus groan. He dipped his head and placed a noisy, wet kiss against Sirius’s thigh. Then another against his hip. Another against the trembling muscles of his abdomen. Another against the dark curls just to the right of his cock. Another right on the slick tip of his cock.

“Mmmmmoony!” Sirius whined, bucking his hips up.

Remus tutted at him again and slapped his thigh a little harder than before. “Now, now Padfoot. Play nicely.”

Sirius groaned and lowered his hips to the mattress. Remus began his kisses again, following the same route as before but instead of kissing the head of Sirius’s cock he licked. Sirius couldn’t help but thrust his hips up in desperation and once again Remus pulled away.

“Turn over.” Remus growled, releasing Sirius’s hips and edging away.

“Err...” Sirius wiggled his fingers, illustrating the handcuffs.

“There’s enough slack there. Turn over.” Remus repeated in an even, authoritative, ‘prefect’ voice. Sirius seemed to shrug and then slowly he rolled over. He struggled a little but Remus bit his lip and just watched. Finally Sirius was on his stomach, his arms crossed at the wrists, his shirt bunched up round his shoulders. Remus grabbed two handfuls of the shirt and with one firm movement ripped the material in half. He pushed the remaining material up Sirius’s arms and left the ruined shirt to hang round Sirius’s wrists.

“Beautiful.” Remus murmured before tapping the back of Sirius’s thighs. “Up. On your knees.” Sirius obeyed without question, awkwardly getting onto his knees and holding onto the headboard with his hands crossed. “Now. Since you can’t follow orders, I think I need to teach you a lesson. Don’t you think?”

Sirius was quiet, his breathing hard and his head turned to one side as though listening intently to every word. Slowly, he nodded his head.


	4. Chapter 4

Remus gently reached out for the bedside cabinet once again. There, in the second drawer, was what he was looking for. He settled himself on his knees behind Sirius, and held the cane in both hands, weighing it, imagining it against his own skin. He decided the best way forward would be to stop over-thinking the situation.

*crack*

Sirius cried out, his fists clenching around the headboard. Remus held his breath, waiting to see Sirius’s reaction, thrilling at the blood that was roaring through his veins. Sirius dropped his head down, panting hard and shifting slightly, the muscles of his back sliding under sweat-sheened skin.

“Again.”

It was barely a whisper and Remus was afraid he’d imagined it, feared he really was high on power and control and this possessiveness that had flared up when Sirius started obeying him. Sirius shifted again, subtly spreading his legs further apart, leaving himself exposed and vulnerable. Remus took a much needed breath and placed one cool hand on Sirius’s hip, rubbing tiny, affectionate circles with his thumb. Without thinking about it he brought the cane down again with another resounding crack against Sirius’s backside.

He didn’t cry out as loud this time only whined, arching his back slightly and gripping the carved wooden headboard even tighter. Remus licked his lips and did it again. This time Sirius barely made a sound but turned his head to one side and Remus caught a glimpse of a truly sordid smile on his lips. Suddenly the tension building in his chest eased, he managed to breath without reminding himself. Sirius was enjoying this just as much as he was. Remus grew bolder, confidence boosted by the look on Sirius’s face.

“You want more?” He drawled, moving his hand from Sirius’s hip and rubbing it along Sirius’s spine. Sirius shuddered under his touch.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?” Remus felt his breath hitch, so unused to being such a demanding bastard.

“Yes please?” Sirius shuddered again, arching his back into Remus’s gentle touches.

“Good boy.” Sirius whined at that, panting harder than before and turning his head to one side as if trying to see through the blindfold.

Remus marvelled at the way Sirius’s skin had turned pink and when he brought the cane down again against that firm flesh he had to bite back a groan at the downright filthy, needy sound Sirius made. Suddenly Remus put down the cane, letting it roll off the bed as he kneeled closer to Sirius. Bending down he placed one loving kiss against the now bruising skin before sitting up and bringing his own palm down hard against Sirius’s arse.

Sirius made a noise caught somewhere between and gasp and a moan.

“Yes Rem!”

Remus smiled and brought his hand down again. And again. He watched as the fine, straight lines left by the cane blurred and filled out into the shape of his hand, his fingers. He was vaguely worried about just how much he was enjoying this. Sirius wriggled impatiently, obviously waiting for the next blow. Remus smacked him quickly, imagining the sound echoing in the room. He placed a calming palm flat against Sirius’s arse and rubbed gently, soothing away the sting.

“Please...”

“Yes, what do you want Sirius?”

“Touch me. God Rem, please.”

Remus was powerless to deny him anything, not when he was laid out so beautifully, bound and blindfolded, arse pink with Remus’s own hand mark. Remus shuffled closer on his knees until his cock brushed against Sirius’s balls. Sirius whimpered and ground back, Remus stopped him with a light smack to back of his thigh.

“Where do you want to be touched?” Remus purred, tilted his hips forward slightly and brushed his cock along Sirius’s own. He leant forward and kissed one shoulder blade.

“Here?” He moved his lips and kissed the ridge of Sirius’s spine. “Or here?” He reached beneath Sirius’s body and ran a teasing fingertip over Sirius’s stomach. “Here?” Sirius was grinding back against Remus’s hips, gasping and humming in approval at every one of Remus’s touches. Remus pinched one nipple hard and didn’t let up until Sirius cried out. “There?” He trailed his fingers down Sirius’s side and then pulled his hips away and kissed one pink arse cheek again. “Here?”

Sirius pulled at his restraints again making the chain clink. Remus smirked and carried on kissing as he slowly eased his thumbs up the inside of Sirius’s trembling thighs.

“Maybe you’d like me to touch you... here?” Remus slipped his thumbs up and parted Sirius’s arse cheeks before flicking his tongue against his hole.

Sirius’s whole body seemed to arch into the touch and he made the deliciously filthy sound again in the back of his throat. Remus smiled like an evil-mastermind and continued flicking his tongue in ever decreasing circles. Just when Sirius’s knees seemed to be trembling enough for him to pass out Remus used the pointed tip of his tongue and pushed _in_.

“Jesus fucking Merlin Remus!!” Remus fought back a chuckle and concentrated on twisting his tongue as fast as he could. His hands were clamped firmly round Sirius’s hips to stop him from bucking like a wild thing and so Sirius made do with screaming every and any expletive he knew as well as the names of several deities.

“Oh yes, oh gods yes, oh Remus, that’s it, yeah... No!” Remus pulled away, laughing openly at the outraged tone of voice Sirius used. Remus was painfully hard, he bent over for the last time, rummaging round in the bedside cabinet and finally pulling out a very proper looking tube. He turned it over in his hands but was in no mood to read instructions now. He twisted the cap off and smeared his hands with the clear, cool fluid. Just as he began rubbing his hands over his prick he felt the most curious sensation, a tingling, hot and cold feeling not only over his cock but on his palms too. He smiled and slipped a hand beneath Sirius’s prone and quaking body and wrapped his slick hands round the boy’s cock.

Sirius hissed and lifted his head, sighing as though he’d been waiting for hours for Remus’s touch. Remus didn’t move his hand at first, just let the curious sensations start along Sirius’s length. When Sirius opened his mouth in shock Remus bent over Sirius awkwardly, pressing their mouths together in a hungry kiss.

Remus could wait no longer, he ran his tingling fingers over he cock and pressed the head against Sirius’s hole. Sirius immediately pushed back, his head turned into his bicep, muffling his moans. Remus obliged and thrust forward, in one smooth movement buried himself inside Sirius.

Sirius started his swearing again, holding on to the chain of the cuffs as he rocked back into every one of Remus’s thrusts. Remus guessed when the effects of the lube kicked in because Sirius’s head shot up and he fought for breath, wriggling his hips back and forth, working himself back onto Remus’s cock.

Remus ran his hand possessively down Sirius’s back, feeling every muscle moving beneath the surface of his skin. He brushed his lips over the nape of Sirius’s neck, flicking his tongue out to lick away a trail of sweat at Sirius’s hairline.

“Is this what you want?” Remus asked, pushing his hips as far forward as he could, forcing all the air from Sirius’s lungs.

“Yes.” Sirius replied in a breathless pant. “Gods yes, yes yes!”

“Tell me.” Remus was slowly unwinding, he could feel the pressure building in his toes and his hips and the back of his neck.

“Fuck me. Merlin! Remus fuck me _faster_...”

It was too good. The desperate rasping sound of Sirius begging, the way he pushed himself back into every thrust, his whole body arching and writhing beneath Remus.

Remus reached round and took hold of Sirius’s cock in a tight fist. He wasted no time on teasing this time just started a hard and fast pace, unable to match the erratic pumping of his own hips and twisting his fist round Sirius’s cock, running his slick palm over the head before sliding down tightly and then back up. Sirius cried out, thrusting his hips forward into Remus’s hand and then back onto his cock, unable to decide which he wanted, needed more.

Remus angled his hips and forced forward just as he tightened his grip on Sirius’s cock. It was too much for Sirius who had been flying so close to the edge since... well since they’d fallen through the mystery door in the first place. He screamed out and came so hard he saw stars before his knees all but gave out beneath him. He braced his hands against the headboard as Remus let go of his dick as he sped toward his own release. Sirius was desperate to touch him, desperate to hold him, he pulled against the cuffs but gave up and instead whispered encouragements as Remus groaned and ran his sticky hand up Sirius’s chest.

Sirius dipped his head and found Remus’s hand with his lips. He sucked Remus’s fingers into his mouth and groaned at the taste of himself on the hand that had just been spanking him. It was the feel of Sirius tongue wrapped round his fingers that sent Remus over the edge, gripping Sirius’s hips with his free hand he pumped uncontrollably two, three, four times and came with Sirius’s name on his lips.

As one the two boys collapsed forward, Sirius wincing as the cuffs pulled his arms awkwardly. Remus overcame his complete bonelessness to reach for his wand and with a simple whispered spell the cuffs sprang open. Sirius lowered his arms, rubbed his wrists and pulled away the tattered remains of his shirt before he turned over so that his could nuzzle into Remus’s side. Remus, laying on his back, wrapped one arm round Sirius and brushed his fingers through his hair.

They were both silent for a few long minutes, both basking in the throbbing of every vein, artery and muscle in their bodies. Finally it was Sirius who licked his lips, placed a sloppy kiss against Remus’s chest and looked up.

“_That?_ Was amazing.”

“It was pretty fantastic.”

“No, no, no. Seriously, that was the best sex I have ever ever had.”

“Heh. Yeah, I’d have to agree.”

“We’re fucking... gods. We are officially the sex gods of Hogwarts. Everyone should bow before us.”

“We should have a plaque.” Remus grinned, craning his neck so that he could kiss Sirius’s forehead.

“We should have a bloody office! Or our own house! Oh yeah, Ravenclaw clever, Hufflepuff loyal, Slytherin twat, Gryffindor amazing and... and...”

“Shagalots?”

“Perfect! The Shagalots. We wouldn’t have an animal, we’d just have a bed as our mascot.”

Remus laughed through a yawn. “Sleepy Moony?”

“A bit. What time do you think it is?”

“Oh, probably nap time.”

“Good.”

Sirius wrapped his arm round Remus’s chest and settled down, one leg thrown lazily over Remus’s thigh. Remus considered cleaning the both of them up, considered repairing Sirius’s shirt, but instead yawned again and yanked on the edge of the blanket, pulling it up to cover both of them. He wrapped his arm round Sirius and closed his eyes. He fell asleep with a grin on his face.

********

“I would like to register my complete and utter objection to this idea.”

“Of course love, duly noted.”

“Keep still will you?”

“It's cold in here.”

“Oh that's you're excuse is it? Ow!”

“Oh sorry, was that your head?”

“Wanker.”

“Tosspot.”

“Sirius? Why do you have a distinctly hand-shaped bruise on your left-arse cheek?”

“Will you two please hurry up and take the bloody photo?”

Remus blushed and Sirius bit back a chuckle as he bent over, James grinned and knelt down, looking to get the perfect angle.

“Don't get his face, they'll kill him.”

“Fine. Although he's flashed the entire school enough times, they'll probably recognise his arse.”

James gave an amused snort and turned back to his subjects. Sirius was naked and standing bent over in front of the Queen of the Pixies, her cold stone lips pressed firmly against his arse.

Two days later a Polaroid snapshot of the Queen of the Pixies kissing the arse of a mystery man draped in a Gryffindor scarf appeared inexplicably in both the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff common rooms. 

The war raged on.


End file.
